My friend and I are currently not talking.
Reason: Well my reason is that everytime I want to talk to her, she snaps at me. Her reason... I don't know, I'm annoying?
I don't want to regret when I'm 40 or so that I never kept this friendship because I'm... selfish that way? I don't like losing stuff especially when I know that it could have been prevented.
So when should I try to start talking to her again?
I'm scared that when I start again, she's going to snap yet again saying "Oh, so now you're talking!"
I tried yesterday. She was so mad. It seems like she gets mad just from me approaching her.
And also, she has had this grudge against some of our friends for a while because what they gave us for our birthdays was kind of uneven (me, 2 necklaces. her, a bag of cough drops.) and she couldn't really get over it. She stopped hanging out with them. I didn't because why should I? I don't have a problem with them. And they share a lot of classes with them.
Well today, I saw her laughing and talking with them.
I don't know, I got this feeling of betrayal. Did she feel betrayed when I kept hanging out with them? Well I already told her that I don't do it as much anymore, but if she's seriously mad about that then...
She says I have to think of her some more. It's kind of hard when she's not thinking equally as much of me. Or is she and I'm not noticing it? Well, if she is, then shouldn't she know by now that I won't know unless she tells it to me straight out? Plus, it's kind of hard to think of her when she never tells me anything. Again with the straightforward thing. I hate trying to decipher faces and actions, so I don't try. I only watch out for speech patterns. So is it my fault?
Well it's kind of boring talking to her anyways because all we ever talk about are classes and teachers. But, I want to keep it, even if all we ever do anymore is just wave hi.
Currently, we're acting like strangers.
1 comment:
Do I know this friend of yours?
With that said, stop angsting.
If your friendships are making you miserable, back out. If you feel that you cannot connect to your friends, if you feel that there is no point to talking to them, why are you talking to them in the first place?
I used to stand around in seventh grade and wave at everyone in my class, and they all waved back. So it's not like you have to be best friends forever to wave at each other. So you can maintain a casual relationship and still talk; I know tons of people that I like but do not know well enough or see often enough to consider them my friends.
It seems like she's being the selfish one, not you. You can have a life separate from her, and it's her problem if she can't realize that and deal with it.
But either way, I think you'll want to talk to her.
And stop making yourself miserable, Egu. You shouldn't be.
Post a Comment